So… I’m admitted into the hospital and I honestly don’t know how long I’ll be here… The communication here is not the greatest – quite a contrast from CMC Main… Thursday night, Darrell and I went to dinner… we had a very busy weekend ahead and some good friends had given us a gift card…. so we decided to have a date! Earlier that day, I was at radiation and talked to my doctor… about my nagging headache… He asked me what I do to relax… and told me to maybe get some more relaxation in… So before we went to dinner, I went for an extra long walk…. I felt fine! After dinner Thursday… I had a bit of a tummy ache when I went to bed… but felt ok… Around 1am… I woke up with this excruciating pain…. I couldn’t lay on my back, my sides… nothing would help me feel comfortable. I tried to sleep…. I had woken up Darrell and he said it was probably from radiation… try to get some rest. I tried… I took a shower and ran it on the back of my neck… which is where the pain was radiating… in my back and up my neck… I just wasn’t going away… I’ve been to the ER a few times now for this feeling that something is in my right lung… and it’s been nothing, but… I told Darrell…. I have an extremely HIGH pain tolerance… and there was something wrong… I was going to drive myself to the ER… and I did. And I’m glad I did… After I was here, the pain was so bad… I was literally rocking back and forth in pain…. They had sent me for another CT scan… (I just had one last week Wednesday)… I honestly didn’t think it was anything… I thought I had a bulged disk or something… It felt like nerve pain… I begged for pain medicine… and the Dr. finally came in and said, “how about some Morphine? You do have a PE”… which is Pulmonary Embolism… a blood clot in the lung…. She said we’re going to admit you and need to get you on some blood thinners…. so they’ve given me Lovenox shots every 12 hours and managed my pain…

They’ve given me an ultrasound in my legs…. to make sure I didn’t have any other blood clots…. My radiation oncologist called yesterday to find out why I missed my appointment… My nurse was supposed to contact them… and I said “they didn’t’ tell you?” He was up here in a matter of minutes…. He said that headache that you’ve had… he said now I wonder? And… any time you have any symptoms in the future, I’m going to want to scan you… ” So.. he arranged to have them come get me to take me down to have radiation yesterday….

I emailed my surgical oncologist last night…. to let her know I was in the hospital for PE… She replied

“Hi Dawn,
I’m so sorry.  How large was the PE? I hope it was on the smaller side as the prior CT scans didn’t see it.

On the flip side, we finally have a reason for your pulmonary symptoms.  Yes you will be on heparin until they bridge you to oral Coumadin or Lovenox shots for six months. That will be up to Dr.Brouse. I’m sure he will get in touch with you soon.

Yes, Tamoxifen is out. The others are iffy as they all have a chance of blood clots and PE.

Talking about that surgery is not a bad idea if you are done having children, understanding that you will go into menopause much sooner :(.

I hope that you are a little relieved, if that is possible, that cancer is not the reason for your symptoms. I am.

As always, you did the right thing by reaching out and being persistent.

Good job.

Let me know what Dr.Brouse says.

LHG”

We know our own bodies… We need to listen to our bodies…

I mentioned to her that I’d be willing to have a total hysterectomy so that my body would stop making so much estrogen and progesterone… Which is what the Tamoxifen is for… to prevent those hormones from being made… but a side effect is blood clots… So I will no longer be able to take any form of those meds… So, I might end up having surgery…

The problem is… my risk of cancer recurrence is 50% without this medicine… so I’ll need to do whatever I have to… to prevent a recurrence… With Tamoxifen the accumulated risk was 30%…. Menopause it is… most likely. It will be worth it… to be here.

I’m praying that all the other changes I’ve made… plus radiation will keep this cancer away!!! My radiation oncologist was insistent that I did not miss yesterday…. to make sure we zap any cells!!!

Another bump in the road… at least I know there is a reason for my Pulmonary symptoms and like Dr. H said… we know it’s not cancer…. and we caught it in time…. I’m still here to talk about it…. Life is good!

However my headache is back above my eyebrow…. and I have told the nurse…. so let’s pray I have nothing else going on!!!

My poor husband… has to manage 2 very large weddings that we had planned this weekend…. We have a 12 hour Persian wedding and a 10 hour Greek wedding on Sunday…. He has had SO much on his plate… finances, weddings, worry about me… In times of need, people really come forward and help… I must thank a very dear friend that has been seriously an angel to me during my cancer journey… Juliet Harless… I met Juliet during this journey and Juliet has truly been an amazing friend to me… emotionally supporting me and this weekend… they are stepping in for me at these weddings… I cannot thank them enough…. Also, tomorrow… many thanks to Whitney Gray for helping us out and helping shoot…

The timing of this could not be worse… not one but 2 weddings where the brides so desperately wanted me to attend…. I’m SO sorry!!! I hope that you’ll understand, if I was not attached to this place… I would be there for you….

Hugs & Love… (D and I hanging out yesterday at the hospital)