Nervous… Surgery 10/5

I had my final consult yestserday with my plastic surgeon. This surgery is going to be very extensive… He will have 3 doctors performing the surgery, himself (Dr. Clavin), Dr. Robinson and Dr. LaFave…. I will be on a table that turns like a rotisserie. They will start with my backside… and they will harvest the flaps… One doctor will be working exclusively on the blood vessels… Timing is everything. He said that the flaps cannot stay off my body for more than 6 hours…

Then they will flip my body and work on the front side… and create breasts with the flaps. On the left side with radiated skin, he will remove as much of the radiated skin and the gaping wound… and replace it with my flaps… I joked with him and told him he should be able to give me DD’s, I have plenty back there to work with! And I should wake up looking like Barbie ­čÖé Joking, of course… he told me I will be happy with large B’s.. this is purely about getting me back to something that is normal… For the past 3-4 weeks I’ve been eating sugar and trying to bulk up a bit for this operation… and then it will be back to my routine… vegetarian and no sugar…

The 3 doctors will work about 8-10 hours to make this come together. I will be in the hospital for 5 days at least… and possibly surgical ICU the first couple of days…

So, it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month… and… I did my breast exam… and under my right armpit… I found a sizable lump. I didn’t know what to do… wait until Monday and tell them at the time of surgery? ┬áCall my doctor? I decided to ┬ámessage my surgical oncologist (who is out on maternity leave)… and she arranged for me to have an ultrasound… I truly have a phenomenal team of doctors…

I had the ultrasound… and the doctor says… everything looks fine, all I see is a cyst…

What????? If anyone knows about my situation… I had “cysts” 7 months before I was diagnosed… with Stage 3 cancer… “just cysts” they said…. In my right side, I had ┬áa “cyst” that they said would aspirate… as I watched the biopsy needle go in and slide right out… the doctor who assured me it would aspirate said… hmm, that’s odd…. wel it had “atypia” which is pre-cancer…

I’ve preached…. stick a needle in it!!! Well, I will have my plastic surgeon remove it… while he’s in there… and if it doesn’t aspirate… I will make sure he sends it for biopsy. I’ve already sent the email… I will not mess around…

I’ve been completely frazzled these days… so much going on.. issues with my kids, issues with G in school, issues with work, it seemed every time I turned around.. issues…

I’ve been praying my fool head off, so I know where this is coming from! I know I’m being tested… so, I may ┬ánot have passed my tests… I probably failed on many accounts…. but, literally I’ve had too much on my plate. We’re selling our house, looking for a place to live… going in for a major surgery…. too much going on! I pray, pray, pray…. and it helps so much… I’ve had equal blessings… wonderful things have happened as well… We have an offer on our house… Blessing! We didn’t have any major issues on inspection… Blessing! The only sunny day was on the day of inspection… Blessing!

But, I’m a worry wart… I worry about worrying… and I hate worrying about my health. I truly despise it… I hate having to have every little thing checked out…. No matter what happens… there is a purpose for everything and a lesson in everything! I’ve discussed the risks of the surgery with my doctor… I’m sure I’ll come out just fine… but, it will be a LONGGG recovery.

I remind myself always…

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I won’t blog again until after surgery…

My little man is 6 years old tomorrow… I’ve been reminiscing all day about everything. It will feel so odd to be at the hospital… and not there to snuggle my lil’ man…

Please say some prayers for me… and our family!

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