It occurred to me today.. it’s been a good little while since I’ve posted. Lots of changes… lots of things to update. But the most profound thing is… there are some days when I don’t even think about cancer. Life is *almost* that normal. Amazing. Then there are days like today, where I am graced with the presence of other ladies who are battling or who have battled this ugly disease… some of whom have had a recurrence, some who are living with Stage IV… and it truly amazes me at the strength of these women, including myself. It’s hard to believe that life almost feels normal again. Today we discussed that feeling you have after treatment…. when you realize, your treatment is over… now what?! It’s almost like after you have your first baby… and you’re expected to go home and just adjust. It’s truly no different with cancer after your treatment is over…. Eventually you adjust. It’s just a part of life. There are so many scary things about this disease… but one thing all of these women had was this strength and a feeling of peace…. Worry is futile. You cannot change what you cannot control…. So, we just live.
There is one really neat thing… As we discussed a fellow cancer patient that is battling… and hospice is being called in – Cindy from Cindy’s Hope Chest… wants to know what she can do to help this woman. Her son is engaged… No doubt, she wants to see her son marry before she dies. THIS is something I might be able to help with. I don’t have money to give… but I do have a brother/sisterhood of wedding vendors who may like to pitch in to make this woman’s last wish come true… Just maybe…. Hopefully we have enough time.
I believe in the purpose of every thing we face. Some really crappy things we go through in life… but they are all learning lessons and I believe everything is for some reason. It may not be apparent right this moment… but at some point, it all makes sense.
Which leads me to discuss my job change… I know I posted months ago about my exuberance with my new position…. but, all that didn’t pan out the way I had hoped. However, during that time… I was contacted by some folks that I’d met last year during my quest to find the perfect location for a bride and groom’s engagement photos. During this quest, I stumbled upon the most amazing home… a mansion that I fell in love with. I fell in love with it’s owners and I pitched the prospect of making it into a wedding venue… and appropriately named it… Champagne Manor (On Sugar & Wine Rd). They sat on the prospect for over a year…. while waiting to fulfill a real estate contract on the home…. that later fell apart. Which led them back to me….. and our “baby” Champagne Manor. And, now I am the Director of Weddings & Events…. at this beautiful wedding venue. I’m truly thrilled to be a part of it!
I still feel really great! I’ve been diligent with my diet and walking every day. I’ve missed only a few days in the past several months. I’m on my 2nd shot of Lupron… which gives me the occasional hot flash from time to time. I’m thankful I’ve decided to keep my hair short because I think it really wards off the hot flashes. Plus, I still freeze much of the time…. so a little rush of warmth is just fine with me, I’d rather be hot that freeze… This morning I had a dentist appointment and they got me a blanket… that’s how cold I stay…. Other than that, I don’t really feel all that different. I’m pretty sure I’ve been menopausal for awhile… this is just clinching the deal to make absolutely sure before my next step… which is to take Arimidex. I’ll be taking the last of my 3 months of Xarelto for my blood clot in my long here in the next couple of days….
The next step after that is surgery… I will need to have my surgery to give me buttoobies. He did say he “may” try implants…. even though he typically will not when radiated skin is involved. That’s a bridge we will cross as we get closer. The risk of implants is a 50/50 chance of the radiated side to reject the implant… So typically they take your fat/skin to make boobs.. usually that’s with belly fat… but during all this I’ve literally dropped to a very low amount of body fat and all that remains is my butt. What a surgery and recovery that will be… January is the goal. Either way. And… I will still need to have a hysterectomy. If I have implants I can do both at the same time…. If not, it’s two separate surgeries. Really kinda makes me want to try the implants…. but I could risk more surgery anyway. So…. which way do you go?
I haven’t visited this page in months… I’m surprised at how many still are reading. Thank you for all the love, support and cheer leading I’ve received during my process… Each of you who’ve reached out to me… I seriously thank you. Some days, it literally meant everything to me.
Til the next one… ❤ Hugs & LOTS of LOVE!