This is how I’ve been spending most of my time… I pray that it gets easier to deal with over the next couple of days…. I’m nibbling on little bits… I have a very dry and metallic mouth, so not much actually tastes good, on top of the nausea…. They said to expect 5-10 days following to be the worst… and then I’ll be on the upswing and then it will be time to start again….

I’ve been running my fingers through my hair to see if some are coming out… so far, they seem to be sticking… they said it may not be until after my next treatment before it really starts to fall…

What I’d like to focus on more than anything in this blog… is the kindness and generosity of people. Every single day it seems something amazing is happening…. Yesterday, we received a bag full of local restaurant certificates from my husband’s employer…. Today, Diane tells me she’s coming to visit for awhile and she comes walking in with a laptop… she did not take the money from our funds, she said this is from she & Vinny…. it’s their gift to us….  It’s mind blowing…..

I think once I asked why I have cancer… why is this happening to me/us?  What I question now more than anything…. is why are all of these people who I’ve never met, who I’ve never had any impact on…. why are they so willing to give so freely to me and our family.  I honestly have no idea…..I’m not just talking monetary things…. I’m talking, every day visits…. phone calls, texts, “how are you doing?” Let’s be honest… not everyone is in a position where we can just give freely to others… we may be struggling ourselves…  But, what is so heartwarming about all of this…. is how prevalent this is weighing on the minds of so many… It’s so true… “when once of us has cancer, we all have cancer”…

It literally amazes me, the meals, offers of…. “do your kids need anything”… I’m at the store, what can I do for you? I want to come visit you later…. It truly is so heart warming and in all honestly, I do not know what I have personally done to warrant all this from all of these amazing people. I’ve mentioned before…. that my stance and position on helping others is forever changed…. I may have lost my career, but I have a feeling something amazing will come out of this….

Today I feel like complete crap… I’m not going to lie…. but at the same time, I feel so amazingly blessed.