It’s going to be a long year….

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First off I’ll update about the right breast…. it did not have cancer.. YET… but it has the cells that lead to cancer, but she was not confident with the biopsy results and wants to biopsy again… more on this part later… She sat and showed me my mammograms from 2012 and April 2013… you could not see anything… they looked identical… then she put this past one up and she said ONLY because she knows… could she locate a tiny blip on the mammogram… This is VERY scary!!! I only went because I felt something… what I felt didn’t even show up on the mammogram last April…. And what I have this year… was barely detectable… and only because she knew where to look… she saw something VERY small, not nearly the size the tumor actually is…

The ultrasound showed like a 1.2cm area of concern.. it was the MRI that showed the tumor being 4cm.. she said by the time they would do a lumpectomy it would be half of my breast… so, she would recommend a mastectomy on the left breast… well, we said if my right breast is going to get cancer in 6 months, 1 year… 5 years… we don’t want to go through this again… so, we’ll go ahead and do a double mastectomy… so she said the biopsy would not be necessary in that case… So, her suggested course of treatment… Chemotherapy for 6 months – 1 month off – double mastectomy – 1 month off – 6 weeks of radiation… 6 months off… and 8 months of being flat chested… and then I can begin the reconstruction process… 😦 I will be on a drug for 5 years called Tamoxifen… to reduce my hormones… and this will put me in instant menopause…

She told me that clinically I’m a stage 2… but, it could be different after surgery… She said… she could go ahead and do the surgery first… but, that may actually upstage me… to a stage 3 or 4… but the course of treatment would be no different UNLESS the cancer has spread… and over the next week I will have testing to make sure of that… lots of appointments upcoming. She feels good that it has not…  But, if she does the surgery first.. that means they will have to take all of my lymph nodes under that arm and potentially under the right arm as well… that would be determined during the surgery… based upon pathology findings… But, if she removes all the lymph nodes.. I will end up with lymphedema… which makes the arm swell 2-3X the size…. So her theory is do chemotherapy first.. (Yes I will lose my hair)… and shrink the tumors as much as possible first.. and hopefully reduce the amount of lymph nodes affected… so that maybe 3-4 might have to come out and not all of them (that will be determined at the time of surgery)…

Over the next week… I will have a bunch of scans, bone, body… etc… I will have some baseline tests on my heart to make sure my heart can take chemo… I will have genetic testing to see if it’s a gene mutation. If it is… then my kids are at risk of certain cancers… If it is from a genetic mutation… they will actually do a hysterectomy so that it prevents all hormones from being created in the body since it’s hormone driven… I will also see the Medical Oncologist and start treatment probably within the next week – 10 days.. I’ve been asked how I’m emotionally holding up… I’m doing ok…  I feel better about everything… of course this is not going to be any fun at all… I have no idea what my future holds… but I’m sure feeling much more confident that I can beat this.. I’ll be documenting my entire journey… because it’s so therapeutic for me… I feel like I am a fairly strong person and I can get through it, with a little hand holding from God… and my family.

On another note… I’d love to thank Kymm McLean for allowing me to use her juicer… I plan to juice a lot… to get the most nutrients from my foods as possible… I’ve stopped drinking alcohol, coffee, eating any refined sugars… etc… Additionally, I’ve changed my diet to an alkaline driven diet… to hopefully stop the cancer from growing… In doing this, I’ve started drinking Kangen water… which is alkaline… I started using natural deoderant, which doesn’t work… when using the 8.5… I still had body odor… but since switching to the 9.0 my body odor has almost gone away… It’s going to be a long, unpleasant year…. (plus)… I don’t know if I’m ready to lose my hair… I don’t know if I’m ready to look at my flat, unattractive chest…. but these are only temporary things… which I am reminded by so many… So many people I need to thank…. Diane Esposito has been literally a rock for me through this… my husband & family of course…. Kymm McLean… who has assured me she will show me how to draw brows and attach lashes… Katie O’Neil who plans to attend my big hair cut next week… Amelia Old & Monica Brady Reid who worked so hard to help me find help with editing… Amelia has offered to attend chemo with me… Diane too…. Athena who has graciously helped provide meals… Sharon from Total Tranquility Salon for helping me with my Kangen Water and delivering it to my door….Ines from Sky’s The Limit Cakes… she sends me daily thoughts and prayers….  So many people… I’m probably forgetting… Thank you… forever, from the bottom of my heart!!!!

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