Insecurities & 2nd guessing

So, for the most part… my cancer is behind me. A couple surgeries and follow ups to report about… but hopefully the cancer can be a thing of the past….

So, now I can use my blog to just speak what’s on my mind, in my heart and weighing down my soul…

I chose to take a job in the wedding industry and in a way I am building  a completely separate wing of a business… it’s truly like starting a business from the ground floor. Although, established… not many were aware they existed. It’s an undertaking… It’s become my new focus, my quest… I can no longer have my own business…. So, I will help someone else’s be a success.

The wedding industry is what I’ve known. My husband said… look at these past years as “your education”… my education in the wedding industry. I know what’s pretty. I was a photographer… I know how to position people, how to light people, how to photograph details…. I know pretty. But, there are a lot of things I don’t know… how to plan a party, what’s the right day to have a party, the proper elements involved…. But, I can design a suite and studio space from construction to completion in 3 weeks…. I’m a very good executor… I get things done, I get things accomplished….. but, there’s a ton I don’t know. Fortunately, I have people who are willing to step in and take those reigns…. next time I’ll consult before, not after…. ❤ It’s all about learning….

What I do know is how to build relationships, how to make a connection and how to make someone feel taken care of…. I know I can succeed.

But, let me tell you….. there are times when I have wondered if I’ve made the right choice…. My “history” in this industry at first … I kept to myself – I’ve never been one that had to run with the crowd, I do my own thing…. I don’t need a lot of people, I just need quality ones…. Then when I had cancer, I was sort of thrown like a wet noodle of despair into the industry…. whether I wanted it or not… And, the perception of some may not be what I actually am…. and I have to find peace with that.  I call people and they know me…. is that a good thing or a bad thing? Oy!

Then there are days where it’s perfectly clear… like yesterday, I sold my very first bride and groom on their wedding catering…. When they left, they told me… they chose “me”….. That is what it is all about to me…. I make friends, not clients…. Every single one of my clients will tell you this…. I take care of people… I make them feel like they are in amazing hands…

I had a bride we photographed a couple months ago… come visit me the other day and bring me coffee…. that is what it’s all about for me… Spend 5 minutes with me… and you have a window to my soul…

Several times through this, I’ve called upon some friends…. and questioned them… “Did I make the right decision trying to stay in this industry”…. they told me… YES, this is where you belong…. I thank them…. they are right… I’m in the right place…. Not everyone has to love me…. just the ones that matter.

Hey, we all need a pep talk, now and then….. For a little bit I was completely, honestly….. swarming in doubt…. But, I’ve found my inner strength and I genuinely look forward to the relationship building that lies ahead of me… ❤



One thought on “Insecurities & 2nd guessing

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s