Yesterday I had the privilege to be the subject of a photo shoot from the uber talented photography team LunahZon… (http://www.lunahzon.com/)They truly are geniuses when it comes to their art form…. Amazing ideas and use of light!!! They had a vision for this shoot and it turned out better than I could have imagined! The purpose of the shoot was to photograph me before my surgery…. breast cancer may take my breasts, but it will not take my soul! I was privileged to work with Erin Ashley Makeup (http://erinashleymakeup.com/)who graciously offered her services for this shoot and make me look amazing.. my eyes were off the hook!. Also, the Ivy Place in Lancaster, SC (http://www.ivyplaceevents.com/) was the perfect location and the brilliant Carrie from The Flower Diva (http://www.theflowerdiva.com/)who came up with this amazing head piece which encompassed a couple loves of mine… butterflies and PINK! Jeremy & Debby spent so much time with me yesterday to make sure they got exactly the shots they were hoping for…. and in their words… this shot was extremely regal and Cleopatra… Although I flaunt my head, there are things that happen to your body when you go through chemo that quite honestly are hard to look at in the mirror…. so when you see yourself and feel this beautiful…. it’s truly an amazing feeling!
I’ve been blessed with such an amazing support group…. and the support and I love I feel is truly unbelievable at times…. Sometimes I have to admit I’m grateful to my cancer for these new people in my life that maybe I’d never have had the opportunity or taken the opportunity to know before…. People reach out and are so incredibly kind…. I am a very lucky girl…. Thank you to ALL involved…. for this opportunity…
Today is 2 weeks until my boob removal…. I’ll be honest, I’m getting nervous. I’ve had a lot of emotions flowing through my heart lately…. It’s not that I’m all that attached to the set I have… but I’ve had them since I was like… well, 10-11 years old…. They’ve served their purpose, I suppose…. I don’t know what it is exactly that I’m worried about… the surgery maybe? Knowing the outcome of my cancer… what’s remains? I honestly do not know what’s making me nervous…. all of it maybe? Of course I’m excited to have expanders.. and maybe eventually have new boobs…. but you know I’d trade it all….. I’d trade it all and keep my ol’ body….. to have that sense of peace I once had…
I’ve been reading and reading and trying to make educated decisions about what route to take after surgery…. Not that there are a lot…. But, since my diet seems to have impacted my cancer in a huge way…. I’ve toyed with maybe forgoing the 10 year drug they are proposing…. I say toying lightly…. I’m really researching and trying to determine what’s the right decision. With that drug… Tamoxifen comes a really high risk of uterine cancer…. So do I have a hysterectomy? I’ll be talking with my doctor about all these things… tomorrow. Then there’s depression…. and it takes another drug to fix the outcome of the first….. when do you say NO? When is it enough? But then again, can I risk not taking it….. is there really a decision to be made? Or do you just take the risk and weigh the benefits… I’m not sure.
I have several people I’ve made friends with…. that have breast cancer. Once you have breast cancer… or cancer of any kind…. you realize that inner peace you had is no longer… I have a friend who’s having a CT scan on her head today…. because of persistent headaches… As much as you want to believe, hey… it’s just a headache…. there is NO peace, any longer. It may not be JUST a headache… BUT hopefully it is! I absolutely despise that any one of us who’s had cancer cannot have peace, that worry lingers….
2 weeks today…. it will be here before we know it!
Next week, I have some girl time planned…. with my Mom and BFF, we’re headed to the beach for a couple days thanks to my good buddy Mike Albert and Brad at Elite Training Academy who graciously gave back the prize so that we could use it…. ❤ Plus an amazing Girls Night Out this Sunday evening…. with some amazing friends who’ve been there for me through all of this! Next weekend I think my husband and I are going to celebrate our anniversary since the weekend of our anniversary I’ll still be laid up from surgery…. lots to look forward to…. time is going to go so fast! It has gone SO fast…. It’s hard to believe I completed 18 weeks of chemo…. I don’t mind if it slows down a little bit….